Is That A Chocolate SnoCone? Mmm - I'll have that

For those of you like me who are terrified of most (if not all) things germy, well man do I have a story for you!

I like going to sporting events.  It is one of my absolute favorite things to do.  However, many years ago when I became this neurotic mess of a man, lots of habits of mine changed.  I've never been a big food guy, but over time I've essentially waned my diet down to things I make at home (mostly vegetables or anything I can toss on a grill) and copious amounts of soft pretzels when out.

And since my neuroses no longer allow me to purchase things from vendors like this, I wouldn't have to worry anything I'm about to eat at the ballpark having gone through this "process."

The Houston Astros are winning, the hot dogs are selling, and all is right with the world at Minute Maid Park. But not inside a men’s restroom.

Cell phone video shows a ball park snow cone vendor sitting on a toilet in a stall with an entire box full of the products he’s about to sell. They sit on the bathroom floor right next to him.

The person who recorded the video and gave it to Local 2 said: “I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. This guy is taking a dump. There’s no doubt about it. What sane person could possibly think, yeah this is a good idea. I’ll just put the food that I’m about to sell on the floor.”

For video evidence, head on over to Deadspin 

Also - if you're buying from vendors...stick to the Peanuts or Cracker Jacks.  The song has dual meaning.

The Fresh Prince Of Awesome

Will Smith dropped by Graham Norton's show with a few guests, and what we got is a fantastic trip back in time.

I DESPISE The Penguins

Not the animals, the professional hockey club, but I've gotta give credit where credit is due.  While the world is filled with messages from the likes of Kate Upton claiming that any hair on a man is unacceptable, I give you a "man"(?) in the city(?) of Pittsburgh who decided to sculpt this supposed unwanted chest hair into the most mundane of messages.

God I really hope this was worth it...dad.

I especially like how he left the hair around his areolae in tact - don't want to look like an idiot.

It's So Close I Can Literally Taste It

I should probably take this monitor out of my mouth.

When Fox cancelled Arrested Development, I went into a state of hibernation.  It has been seven long, agonizing years, but now that my dear Netflix has brought it back, I can finally re-enter society.  Here I come world, watch out.

T Minus - 13 days




Her?

Never Forget That People Are ALWAYS Watching

Even when you just want to cut loose a little and get down



All the single ladies!

In Case You Needed A Reminder That Google Is Everywhere

Over the 5+ years we've heard all kinds of crazy stories about the random acts Google's Street View camera accidentally catches, even spawning it's own website: http://www.streetviewfun.com/.

Well, this one's my new favorite, because not only are they from "Down Under" Australia, but also appear to be OK with the act as well.  So if you don't feel like clicking over there, take a look here.

Could it be a fake?  Of course!  Do I care? What isn't fake these days, so no.  Let's just enjoy the absurdity of it and call it a weekend.

Talk About A Joy Ride

This dude, William Blakely, a former Vice Mayor for the town of Mount Carmel in Tennessee (shocker) was arrested in February after a fellow driver claimed that he had "fondled himself" and tried to get her to lift up her shirt while he was driving alongside her.

Just to recap that, dude was driving, down a highway, playing with his junk in clear view of a driver whom he was actively trying to solicit funny business from.  Two words: Fucking Awesome.

His preliminary trial was this past Thursday, and it was there that three women testified that they witnessed the act.  To quote one of them, a Deborah Sturgill:

"He was taking his hand, wetting his mouth, and masturbating.  At over 90 mph he had his penis out the window."

Seriously, this would have to take some serious skills people.  I mean this guy was jacking it out of an open window while speeding down an interstate.  How many times have you been speeding down the road thinking, "Man, I've got a full blown erection.  I should really take care of this, stat."  I won't speak for the rest of you but for me it's surely been dozens of times.  Maybe even a baker's dozen of times.  And to top it off, dude was apparently staring directly at her smiling the whole time.  Talk about stepping into a pitch.

Well this guy finally did it.  Kudos good sir, minus getting caught of course.  You've officially lived every man's wet dream.

If you'd like to see the news report, feel free:

WJHL-TV: News: Weather, and Sports for Johnson City, TN

Deer Slap Fight?

Looks like your run of the mill chick fight to me